← Event seating chart optimizer
Divorced parents are the classic seating problem: two people who may not want to share a table, each with a new partner, each with relatives who take a side. The way through is to decide it once, as written rules, rather than re-deciding it every time you move a name.
Open the free seating chart optimizer
1. Give each side its own table. Pin each parent to a table number (Nina Castillo @ 1) so the head tables are settled before the search runs.
2. Forbid the one pairing that must not happen. Marta Reyes !! Karen Moss means never the same table. Use ! for pairs who are merely better apart.
3. Keep each parent with their partner. Put the same party name after both names, or add a + wish, and they travel together.
4. Add the friendships, then read what is left. The plan lists any wish it could not meet so you can decide which you can live with.
Twenty-four invented guests, three tables of eight, and ten wishes. Nina and Paul Castillo (one side) are pinned to table 1, Marta and Dev Reyes to table 2, and Karen and Alan Moss to table 3. Marta Reyes must never share a table with Karen or Alan Moss, Dev Reyes is better apart from Karen, and Beth Lowe is better apart from Dana Price. Karen Moss wants to sit with Beth Lowe, Dev Reyes with Pat Quill, and four more pairs of friends and relatives want to be together.
| Seating | Wishes met | Parties split | Score |
|---|---|---|---|
| In the order typed | 7 of 10 | 0 | 24 |
| Optimized | 10 of 10 | 0 | 36 |
List order happens to keep the former spouses apart only because the pins hold them; it still seats Beth Lowe with Dana Price and parts Karen Moss from Beth Lowe and Dev Reyes from Pat Quill. The search meets all ten wishes with eight at every table.
It assigns tables, not seats within a table, and it knows only the wishes you typed: not who has stopped speaking to whom, custody or travel arrangements, dietary needs, wheelchair access or the shape of the room. Talk to the people involved. It is a starting point for you and your planner, not a promise that every guest will be happy.
Give each side its own table near the front, and keep the two tables apart. Pin each parent to a table number and mark the former spouses with two exclamation marks so the optimizer will never put them at the same table, even to satisfy a friendship.
Usually yes: a new partner is a guest of that parent, so list them together as one party and the optimizer keeps them at the same table. Seat the new partner away from the other parent only if the people involved ask for it; the tool follows the wishes you type, not a rule about who belongs where.
Use a single exclamation mark. It tells the optimizer to keep the pair apart if it can, but lets it seat them together when the table maths needs it, and the plan lists any such pair so you can decide.
Related: the general wedding seating chart guide, the bounce house rental calculator for the children's party and the container load planner.